I have become obsessed with Instagraming not only current pictures

but pretty much any picture still in my phone.


tomorrow..i’ll talk about 9

i love the band thursday..they played here the other night. i didn’t go. i just didn’t feel like a show… my friend took a number of awesome pictures…

i just listened to the song..i hope your alone now..the lyrics ..not so understandable..i know them..but i felt the need to reread them.. 

i realized every decision ive ever made …that involves me and “love” has been terrible…until right now….until my current situation. yes, it’s not without its faults…but its distance at fault…sometimes i wonder how it would be without the distance.. i think it would be good…i think it would be essentially the same..but in person instead of phone calls …i don’t know… we don’t talk about the distance..we don’t talk about changing it…or erasing the distance…i don’t know…i don’t know…i just wish i did…sometimes im such a girl…i hate myself…

i read an article today on cnn about people dying due to the having the flu. healthy , young people..with seemingly no reason. the line the caught my eyes was a quote from a 15 year old boy that was hospitalized. the last thing he said to his mother was “mom, don’t cry”. a few hours ago, i got a message on facebook from one of my best friends in highschool. it wasn’t from her account, so i have no way to get in touch with her again. she told me that a friend of ours died over the weekend from complications from the flu. she was supposed to get married this summer. 

i’m very unsettled. it has me wondering what im doing -spending time in a job i don’t love and far away from the people i do…in a place i don’t love and have almost grown to hate. i don’t know… i just im just a jumble of reflection today..

more on this later… i’m far too tired to get into all that right now…

i woke up this morning with that feeling that today was not going to be a fabulous day. it wasn’t one of those overwhelming feelings – it wasn’t like i felt like i was going to be struck by a bus or attacked by vultures…but nonetheless i woke up with a feeling of what now. so my day goes by…no major tragedy…actually..some good news for that secret part of me that screams for revenge. alas , it was not to last. i pick up a letter from the post office. the irs wants to sue me for things i already paid for. awesome. i get home- student loans want to steal the rest of my money. awesome…and i think i have a flat tire. well, the irs is wrong and have verbally admitted it. the student loan people are being nice ..so we’ll see if they stick to that tomorrow when i play the fax game with them. 

my tire is not flat enough that it didn’t take me to the wine store. will i have an issue tomorrow morning on the way to work? most likely. i’ll deal with that tomorrow. so you see…my cassandra complex comes through yet again…i knew it would suck…i knew it wouldn’t be excruciating..but only annoying…and yes, it all turned out as predicted.


but this picture makes me happy-texas is the reason and morrissey in one shot-taken 2 years ago at the old pink in buffalo..my 3 favorite things when i was 16 and in buffalo – texas is the reason , morrissey and alcohol…img_0950_12